M Y  P O E T R Y 
               Lonely Picture of Forgotten Dreams  (1/11/2003-2004-2005-2007)

                            * * *  
Sometimes, when the wind rushes my forgotten dreams,
I watch in the silence and see the stars are transformed in springs. The springs of my hope.  
And I remember you, whenever we're apart,
You'll always be in my romantic heart.
                            * * * 
Wake, oh, waves of my sorrow,
Cause everyone has his tomorrow.
Do not take away my dreams,
Just look in my eyes, see my fears
Can you tell me why I am here?
When she does not hear,
My sorrow and my dreams....
                           * * *
There are moments when I feel like believing
In those fading dreams, and fight my sorrow and gain that feeling,
Feeling of life.
Say that there is no tomorrow,
Say that there is no yesterday,
All I had is blown away,
By the wind of change.
Can you feel its wings?
That only sorrow brings?
Oh, be ready to live and die,
Be ready to love and lie,
Be ready for hatred and smile,
Be ready for lonely time.
'Cause there is always wind of change...
                          ***
     Lonely Pilgrim in Garden of Life.
Destiny, how often I thought 'bout you,
And what it gives when I deny you.
Too late to catch the wings of rainbow,
Too late to think about days of sorrow,
Oh, my forgotten youth.
See, I am good at harming people,
Breaking those brilliant hearts.
Look at me, I am bringer of sorrow,
Evil breads, not love, no tomorrow
For those who are on the wings
On wings of my sorrow.
Ride the dragon
And you will see the lion,
A nature of fire and ice.
Oh, destiny should I becalm for ever....
                       * * * 

Lion and dragon over the rainbow
Catch the bird of tomorrow,
Look how they glide in the air,
Two fiercing creatures.
Are they alive?
Are they so blind?
Who can catch that beautiful bird of tomorrow?
That flies over mountains, seeding my sorrow.
Nor me, nor you.

Many centuries ago I was a wizard, stargazer, and snow
I was a mighty wind, that opened the cemetery gates and so,
Now I became a usual man. That kind that is useless to world.
Remember, my magic healed the wounds of your soul,
What happened to me? I've lost it all.
They say we don't need these magic things,
The wisest say we don't need your romantic dreams.
How can I destroy my fantastic world?
Forgive that place, deny my Lord,
Who brings colours of life....

Somewhere in time, we will be together,
Over the rainbow, we find our weather.
Sun will follow our jolly souls,
Protecting from rain and mighty storms.
Somewhere in time, when I'll be eternal,
I think about love that joins us together...forever



Lonely shepherd of my dreams
Do you see what I see?
In the highest mountains, or standing by the sea,
Pictures of my memory play strange games to me.
Looking forward I do see nothing, but a little cloud of innocence,
Victims of tomorrow never see your sorrow, oh, gentle wind.
Lonely shepherd of my dreams,
Do you feel what I feel?

In the desert hopes, I see the only light,
Light of my pride and ultimate fight,
Fight against the eternal youth of my heart and soul.
Do you believe that I have seen Eve?
She told me her sacred secret:
She never was in Eden, not even knew it existed.
It was just a fantasy, a mystery,
That made her and Adam live in misery.
I asked her: What is pride?
And she told - innocence of your heart.
I asked her what is love?
And she told me - the decay of your heart.
That was a mystery, nor a Solomon's vision;
Not my  holy vision, reflection of my past -
She was my Eve: my forgotten dream.  
                          * * * *
I woke up in the cold morning
And felt that my fantasy died,
Every her wing was calm and cold,
I tried to open her eyes,
But her heart whisper'd: don't even try
Now you without me try to fly
And catch your rainbow in the sky.
I cried, I tried, I lied - but it's gone.
Gone with the cold morning.
And I feel like dying with my dreams.
 
Never before, never and ever.
Whisper all you have in your mind,
Open my heart for those who are blind.
Look at my heart, shining like gold,
But when I'm sad it looks very old.
I open heart for those who are dumb,
They climb their castles in the sky,
Never turning on me, just climb.
I wish I could fly.
Never and never, but it lasts forever.
Lonely One with his golden heart.

                  * * * * *
Bring me that sun or moon,
Look at me, am I a fool?
Romantic story with bad end,
I'm walking from Never land.
You know I see the stars,
They talk to each other,
About weather, life and my lost shoes;
Also I heard they talked about you and my blues.
Sorry, I am Stargazer and Skychaser
Just trying to catch your dreams,
See myself walking in your mental streams,
Cruising over and over mountains and hills.

           *    *     *
I am so alone in this world,
Of deep blues and sorrow
I'm always silent, saying not a word.
Who I am talking to,
Who I am listening to,
I don't know.
May be my heart is speaking to me,
I don't know.
Look there, in my deep dreams I wasn't alone
No, I wasn't. I hold your hand, and lead you home,
Home of broken sun. Never brilliant, never shiny. No more.
I am alone. I hear silence talking to me,
Walls are round me. Walls of indifference and lie,
Please, could you tell me why,
Why I am so alone in the world of milliards?
      
           My Muse dies young
I was ill and tried to feel good,
Escape your blindness and misunderstood.
I was ill 'cause I was alone,
I felt everything had almost gone,
I thought about it near my fireplace, 
I always looked at fire, as it was my beautiful grace.
What does it mean when you are alone?
No one calls you, or even loves you.
No, no. They just don't know you.
Am I invisible to them?
Yes, and I call it miracle.
Why?
Because only good die young and lonely... 

Remember, last Sunday I was rude to you,
I felt like thorn pierced your heart of blue,
It was and I never deny.
That was my ultimate lie.
You are like a gentle bird, that always flies,
In Eden's kingdom, it always shines.
Your cloth made of gold and purple colour,
It makes my eyes blind of such splendid flower,
That makes my life brilliant picture of great artist and man.
I was rude, and it was too crude....


When first I came to see your eyes,
I felt you brought me Paradise.
Sign and key locked out my heart,
They say that love maketh me hard.
Gold not bring me, Silver throw away,
Just give me those eyes of blues....

 
  
A long wave of sorrow, a deep well of sadness,
Who am I in this place, and what is the symbol I see,
Signs from above, from the other side of the Paradise Sea.
I remember, I wasn't a madman in his pride,
I remember I was just alone, sitting by your side.
You told me, hold me, otherwise I fall,
And I whisper'd, No, you won't, I'll give you all,
My love and my wings... 

Somewhere in time, I'll be there, everywhere.
At the down of the Purple Rainbow
I'll meet the sun and moon,
Rainbow and brightest spoon,
And I'll eat the honey of magic sky,
Without it I cannot fly.... 


How I wish to fly over mountains,
Meet Europe and Asia; they'll break my golden chains;
I wish to drive the four winds of sorrow,
Take and give you beautiful tomorrow.
Give me the wings of moonlight,
And I forget that day is killed by the night.
Only braves never believe,
Only good meets his Eve,
Only who cries no evil breeds,
Only who laments no sorrow brings.
That's I call a mystery of life...


I was sitting by the Sea,
When the Siren came to me.
Why do you feel your gentle sorrow?
Because, someone stole my tomorrow.
How could it possible to be?
It might be if you are blind and nothing to see.
Oh, I see it clearly standing by the Sea.
All right. We all came to realize our dreams,
It's like the Sea that waves its deepest streams,
You always try to seize them,
But, alas. Impossible to catch that mirage.
And you surrender, surrender, surrender 
All your life, you seek for someone who can remember
All your faults and dreams of last December.
Right. And no one remembers.
We are runners from reality,
Escapers from the fatality.
It's our destiny. 
Destiny to feel gentle sorrow. 
 

Bless the wind that comes towards me,
Bless the Angel that came down to help and see,
What I am and what is my mystery.
See, the wings of tomorrow,
Look at the diamond light of my sorrow.
Could you believe that I am Stargazer,
And see what you want to see, in your starry dreams?
I see every path of your golden streams,
I see every breath of your fallen screams,
I feel it and fear it, as I'm getting  Starchaser,
I seize every evil you see, every fear you can hear,
And in my mirror I can see you are near,
Very beautiful and glad - in peace I can rest calm and blessed.


Stories, fairy-tales.
Have you seen me walking 
In mighty storm with golden sands?
No, you can't understand why it always ends.
Mystery, always leads me,
Follow like a blind,
Always at her side,
Is it possible to fight,
Her mysterious light....

I was alone since my muse had died.
My muse was of a delicate kind,
Winged and blue-eyed blondie,
Open-minded and kind-hearted mystery. 
She was a daughter of the western wind,
Masked, disguised in the southern mist,
I tried to catch her gentle look,
She disappeared....

Poetry is like the wind,
Blowing and nowhere to stay,
And poet is like a stranger  going astray,
In society that has nothing  to say
About his writings. And just take him away.
There is no his mistake,
He's just a kind of human stake,
An apple of humankind.,
Or another kind....?

          Misunderstanding.
I was good to everything I loved,
I died every time to make them happy, and I cried,
Not for money and even for love.
I am stranger to this.
But I was misunderstood. Never forgiven. Never believing.
I was innocent. Dying for every moment of sadness,
For every moment of happiness for those whom I love.
Now, I am silent. I am stranger and never believe. Happiness.
But the wings of pride and lie covered my heart.
She took me wrong. And that makes me weak,
That makes me stranger, I feel I bear only danger,
Fear, darkness, and I surrender,
Sitting by myself, thinking of my useless.....

Close my eyes for a while,
I won't fight anymore,
Dark has taken me to the Gates of the Reborn.
I was touched by the hands of the fire,
I was pierced by the tongue of the liar,
I was burned by your words,
I was crucified, and over there is my Cross.
I thought it was good to make friends,
But, alas, it closes my eyes and weakens my hands.
Golden hands that make Good. But I was misunderstood. 
  
I seize the wave of your golden dawn.
You weaved it for me, but I didn't understand that.
I always was blind. I haven't time for beautiful things.
I was too alone to stand, I was too alone to breeze your splendid Sea.
I never knew, that it can be so beautiful, when you can have friend.
I never felt what is friend's touch. 
I always was the only one in my fight. And I rely upon myself.
I could seize the wave of your golden dawn,
Touch you beautiful hairs, take your breath,
And feel what means the happiness, not death.
But I always was on the wings of solitude....misunderstood.

Pray, stranger. I feel you are in danger.
Here comes my sorrow, please do not follow,
Her strange steps to Never-never land.
Smile stranger, cause I am here to save your life,
Take you from the sadness, and the evil pride.

Sad, when you lose,
Friend.
Too bad, when you touch
That deadly hand - of misunderstanding.

Yesterday, I have lost everything.
Everything I had.
Feeling like burned inside,
Feeling like falling apart.
Sorry never excuses,
Sorry just amuses,
Alas, it never stops from losing my friend.
I was in a hurry with my emotions,
In a moment giving nothing but a wave of blues,
Strange, but it made me confused.


I saw the sea
Blue and calm enough,
Enough for me,
And I made my dreams of shiny sands,
Soft and smooth like kind Dragon's touch.
I came to catch waves and free them at dawn,
To run to eternity of the reddy skies,
I saw that my friend gone with the wind,
Forever, and black cloud of friendship,
Covered my dreams,
And I shouted, please, Forgive me,
I am just a man without dreams, 
Dead and cold as a stone,
Frozen of men's indifference,
Without love, hated and useless,
What I am, please, Forgive me,
And give me a rest, piece of mind,
And friend told me,
Ok, you are forgiven,
I understand you, and never mind,
You are better than me,
As I want get everything I need,
Everything that doesn't depend on me,
Never care for my friends, and see,
Where I now, I am here in Mystery.
We are blessed and we all forgiven,
It doesn't depend of what we are given,
We are winged and we are crossed,
So we are just men, and nothing bad in that,
But our attempt to give instead of forgive.


Do you remember all my words, all my dreams, and believes?
I don't think so.
Cause I am stranger and you know that.
I tried to be like Knights of the Round Table,
To serve and fight, to love and ride in the night
For those who are weak and lost their souls,
But, that time became a legend,
And, I threw my sword.
Thou art is dead, Knight.
You gave me your bad word,
It was on the Twelfth night. 


Hundreds of years we wander and seek,
For those who can help us and keep,
Only in hope we can live,
And that is why you must forgive anyone. 
That star we lead us to our world,
May be, thus wants Lord.


When I am forgotten and astrayed in numerous talks,
I'd better sit and think alone, how to walk along,
I choose the seed of peace, not of war,
I cannot struggle anymore.

My dreams not like yours,
They delicate and sad,
They of storms and winds,
Of sands, and thorns,
But sometimes,
They are of rainbow, and sunny streams.
I am a man, and feel any beat of your heart,
Any tear you shed over bird that's died today,
I see every pain you gained from memories you have,
So my dreams cannot be clear as they have to be,
You cry, and it coloures my dreams in misery.
My dreams not like yours. 
They're strange and beautiful.

Great Warrior once told me,
Never believe those who never see a war, 
Only that man is true, who was killed and buried in sands of our madness.
I believe him, as he bears nor evil nor good anymore!
You believe in everything they say, but it cannot be true,
They even don't know you. How can they understand you?
You are not father or brother to them,
You're just a man. Hmm! Friend, not - I don't know this word.
Thousand of my friends were betrayed and died,
Look, ravens in the sky. Valhalla, over there they took the last ride.
Never believe, when someone says - You're my friend. Just step aside.
Just be a man, a warrior. You are not a Slave. Go along in the heat of your life.
Fight your way and make a great flight. From those who just talk with wind. Not with you!
Great Warrior once told to me
You are a Man, not a Slave! 

Strange, but I am not a wind anymore.
I cannot move, I cannot run.
I just hide all I have from your eyes,
I don't believe in your dreams.
I think, we all are strangers.
We hate each other. For nothing,
That explains this feeling.
We cannot stand each other,
And we bring pain, and never say Forgive.
Strange, but you make me weak,
Though I am strong.
You shout when I need just a talk, 
A whisper from inside,
Soul-denied, you want more than I have.   


A shadow of sorrow scarred my heart,
Broke it, and brought to it the wind of art,
And I speak to you on language of stars,
I wish, to take away all my saddest scars.
This I call a real poetry....
Dreaming of you. Last night
I saw your face, and I put on the light,
I looked out of window, 
There was a rain.
That moment I felt the pain.
Always thinking of you,
Always dreaming of you,
You're too far, and rain goes again
On the saddest day in the world.

Once upon a time there was a rainbow,
In the ocean of forgotten dream,
I saw it and I believed that there was a scream,
Scream of happiness once I had with you.
I made a ship of my rememberings,
And a sail of my broken heart.
Silently I put it on the sea,
And gone for a while,
Just to forgive my woe.
I've been in my perfect world,
Almost happy, but a little while,
Couldn't stand anymore - Loneliness.
So I caught the star, 
And made a wish -
To be with you,
Everywhere,
Just to see,
Forever, just to be,
Near - hoping too,
Giving everything I have,
I don't need anything,
Without you.....

There was a time - when I had a light in my hand,
I set it free and it floated to the sky,
And it transcended so high,
It lit the whole beautiful world,
But now it all became old,
My images of gold,
All bleached forever.

Sometimes, you need time
To think all it over,
To say how much
You feel it 
and become more stronger.
    


Silence. no one's around, 
that's strange.
city's asleep, calm children
No hear your cries.
No tears, no hopes,
just dreams of Dreamlands.

My wishes are far away.
far away, in your hands
in your eyes, in your heart,
I feel, you can't say a word,
because you stand alone.
I sit in the sands of the sea,
dreaming of waves to come,
of wind, that can blow,
all you fears and sighs.


Dog in front of holy sea,
Digging sands of innocence.
Hear him barking on the doors
Shutting me from Land of dreams.
I've been saying words of wisdom,
Strangely, realizing what I do,
Dog I see in front of you,
Many people feeling through -
You sadness, loneliness and happ'ness.

Last stanza I made of my heart,
Was last good and soon forgotten.
Alas, don't catch the wind,
The wind that rushes everything you have and had.
See, I have a heart of gold,
Silver coins you seek, 
but fail as before,
Never say never,
I can try for ever.

Solemnly people live and die,
Blame each other, and try,
To stand each other, but fail.
Are we all strangers, tell me?
Why do we hate each other?
Why do you blame only me?
For that I have my own dreams?
Please, tell me. Please, understand me.
We had all golden hearts,
But time took all this gilded sand,
And I miss it very much,
I feel, I've lost all your hope,
All your belief, all your love,
All your heart.
I've seen it before,
On the lonely picture,
Hanging on black, black wall.
I close my eyes, and see no future,
See no past, present. This means only torture.
For, I am not good friend.
Betrayals, loses, and much pain made me a stranger.
I want be good, I want be white as snowy angels,
Purified and forgiven, good and not evil.

When you will call me,
I will be the wind,
Too far from this place,
In sands for the race,
Like man making pace,
To his last trace.
When you see me in the window,
I will stand there in rain,
I will  run to you to ease your pain,
A good girl with golden hair....

	
March of children of tomorrow.

Many tears we had, it was before,
Many lies rushed our eyes, but no more,
Children of tomorrow, we are very strong,
No more, no more, no more - we are not wrong.
We are not weak anymore, anymore, anymore.
Cry no more, no more, no more.
You've betrayed us, we are stranded,
You've sold us, we just hated.
Keep on blessings, merciful god,
We are children of tomorrow,
There is no time for inner sorrow!
Look, our eyes see light of thousand stars,
See, our hearts are full of million scars,
Spirits of children of tomorrow,
We believe we never see your sorrow.
Bless you, children of tomorrow,
I see no more your horror.



Lion, whose eyes are kind and merciful,
I don't understand, what happen'd to you.
Your eyes with tears are full.
They say you are not wise, you're a fool.
What happened to you, please, tell the wind?
Tell the moon, tell the sun - what happen'd.
Oh, the winds, calm and weary, I am tired,
I am too kind-hearted, and my dreams are fired,
The golden gardens lie in distant lands,
The great pyramids lie in distant sands,
My heart is tearing down.
World is tearing down,
Down, down, and down.
Look how deep lies our sorrow,
You make love - hate follows,
All you do, sadness brings only sorrow.
World is going down,
Down, down, down,
Like a drop from rain above,
Like a blood of my heart. 


Screaming like a wind in thunder,
Looking sad, like soldier in dying,
I am innocent, like winds of Horizon.
Say, what is life for dying man,
Tell me, why they are all looking sad.
Even joys, even rains don't matter now,
We are still crying, war is only woe.
I don't believe in human kind,
We die, we kill and ground we find.
Oh, tell me, why I'm looking sad?
This world isn't innocent.


There is another day in your life,
Many people come to see and come,
All I seek is piece of little and some.
You believe in most strange things,
Like love, friend, mercy and rings,
We unite you in the end,
We teach to love, not to hate,
We are knights of good will.
Look, eyes of kind man look perfectly,
Like angel looking at the world from the sky.


Mirrors of life and lies.
They set up to new religion,
Betrayal and childish cries.
They call it a new division.
Sometimes we don't think about ourselves,
'bout people we live within us.
I know there is nothing only but life,
Goodness, loyalty and human pride.
And I plead all the gods of the world.
Give them golden heart of the Lord.

You step as you're afraid of the dark -
You say people are soft as the ice.
Innocent hearts are fragile like glass -
Evil winds - can break their nice!
But I say - No way!
Look at me now. What the hell are you talking about,
I'm not made of metal and glass - 
I am the human flesh, proud and stout.
We are not sand and glass -
We are just humans without knowing us....


Memory. You see the sea waves,
But you're too far from this place.
Oh, I can see everything -
Even pain in your gentle heart.
Please, don't do that thing - 
You are not auld, you are very young!
Time by time evil comes and goes away,
Memories are waves in sea I see,
So all troubles come to that imagined sea.
I believe, you never surrender to that -
Please, believe - and throw all bad out of your head!


When I turn off the lights - 
Only hope slips to my house.
She tells me good-night, kind man,
I believe you'll be lucky next day.
And I say, thank you my only night guest,
You are wonderful, pleasant thing, wish you all the best!
Please, be happy and you to-night,
Then a sweet sleep takes me to bed.
Her arms are so warm and so gentle,
I am taken and put on the bad of my dreams.
Then the sleep gives me a wave and goes on,
To the neighbours, to children, romantics and heroes,
Not only candle gives the light,
Heart will bear the kindness to-night.    


Together with dragons we will fly,
The skies of risen sun we meet with cry,







I'm somewhere in time
Looking for answers,
Why are they looking at me in a such way?
Breezing with wonders, playing with silence,
What happened to world, why can't you see?
The lyrical darkness, the mystical lightings,
Like scar in my gentle, fragile and gold'n heart.

You never talked too much with winds,
Never believed in gentle streams,
Of human kindness.
I came here to show all you have,
All you can, when all you love.
Sometimes, they hate and never believe,
Open mind, don't close within.....


Sleepless, many years in search for kind,
You forgot that heart must shine,
And people must laugh,
Because, you had funny mind, 
Full of those splendid childish dreams
Today can spoil everything, anything
World never will be the same.
But everyone has his chance to keep,
Believe, laugh and fly to live.....


  
Alone, gloomy darkness,
Stood on the roof of the world,
There, she probably was in search of her God.
Some clouds, over mystic skies,
People say only lies...
Over there, was nothing but the clouds,
Beneath, there were only crowds -
Of disbelievers.


Kings are for the kings,
Queens always quarrelling to queens,
Fathers and mothers,
Sons and daughters,
Why are you so sad?
Amongst the nights,
You will find clearly days.
Don't close your eyes,
Everything's all right.
Open hearts, open minds,
Clearly day, gentle,
Comes to soothe you.....


Lion with tears inside,
With broken heart outside,
With departed dreams in the mind,
What else can destroy your proud and kind? 
Bad hearts won't change your life,
And way of thinking,
Way of giving and kindness bringing.
So, go over the dreams,
Those, strange poetic streams.....
 

Blind faith is twisting over highest mountains,
Looking for the express of emotions,
Being blind, it's hard to make your motions,
There are many pains, rains and restraints,
To be just happy.
Ordinary people. They see what they see,
And I see them trying, twisting and suffering...for blind faith.

When you're sad, there are many tears to shed with people,
But you don't make it an exhibition picture, friend
Just hide, just keep inside don't do it tonight.
Sometimes I have a reason to go on,
Sometimes, a fly over reality, denying, lying,
But never surrender, and live in vain, 
Like a distant dreamy train.....


Far away dreams catch your words,
Even your prayers to different Lords.
Sometimes it's hard to go on and find your way
All your fears catch your pleasant day.
What's about slowly motion?
Fighting hardly for emotion. 
Any way we don't believe,
Fools that never have a dream.
Real one, not faky scream.
One by one, we catch your words,
Of the good they make your swords.
Not believe, but do a wrong,
King of kings - you make them strong.
Far away, I catch your dreams,
Then, of dreams I make your streams.  
But sometimes, fear bear the screams,
Alas, life full of different dreams....
Don't be afraid - you never miss - 
Your happiness, and kind for years.....

-  to be continued -