Once upon a time there lived a man in a village. He was so lazy, extremely lazy, that could not chew his meals. And villagers, having seen that the man could not work, even for his life, decided to hang him for this, so that nobody would do it again. They chose two of the villagers at their gathering. So those two men came home to the idler, grabbed him as an unconscious chump, sat him in a cart with an oxen team, and took him to the gallows. It was a quite common mode of argument in those days.
... On their way they met a landlady in a carriage. The lady saw a man in the cart, who looked like a patient. She took pity on him and asked the escort:
"Good people! I see that there is a sick man in your cart. Are you delivering him, the poor, to the hospital for a cure?"
"No, not at all, madam," - replied one of the peasants. - "Don't worry, Your Grace, he is such a loafer, that there is no equal to him in the whole world, and we are carrying him to the gallows, - to rid our village of this sponger."
"Aye-aye-aye, kind people," - the lady said, shuddering. - "Isn't it a pity if the poor man dies like a stray dog? It would be better to get him to my estate. Behold, there is a mansion on a slope! I have a barn full of dried crusts there, for a rainy day, - God forbid! Let him eat the crusts and live by my house. At the end of it all, I do not grow poorer because of a piece of bread. We must help each other. Ask him, if he goes with me."
"Hey, you, lazybones, do you hear what the lady is talking about?" - asked one of the peasants. - "She will put you in her barn for fattening with crackers. You got a piece of happiness! A bastard you are, strike your thunder! Hurry up, get down from the cart, bow to your mistress, - she saved you from death! You will thrive now under her wing!"
"We have thought to reward you with a rope," - said another fellow. - "Yeah, but the lady in her mercy gives you a shelter and food, and let you live as you want! What a wonder - to intercede for such a shit and to feed him as a drone! Come on, you, answer the mistress either this or that way, because she has no time to chew the fat with us here!"
"Are the crusts soaked?" - asked the slacker, having not budged an inch and barely opening his mouth.
"What did he say?" - asked the lady.
"He said nothing," - replied the first peasant, - "He asked, if the crusts are soaked?"
"Here we are!" - was surprised the lady. - "I have never heard about things like that! Why can't he soak them with his hands?"
"Hey you, sluggard, are you ready to soak the crusts by yourself?" - asked another fellow.
"No, I'm not ready," - posted the beggar. - "Let's go ahead. It's too much hassle for the rotten belly!"
Then one of the villagers said:
"It's your will, dear lady, but you are fussing in vain. You see, we are dragging him to the gallows, - but not for nothing! We would have helped him, the whole village together as one, if only it had been possible! What do you think?"
Despite all her nobility, the mistress had lost any interest to the lazy beggar and said:
"Kind people, do as you think fit!"
Thus the sluggard got rid of the peasants, and the peasants got rid of that good-for-nothing. Now let other lazy beggars come to the village, if they are brave enough!
And I had been there: I have sat down on a seat and told this tale as best as I could!
![The Lazy Beggar [Славянский Владимир Владимирович]](/img/s/slawjanskij_wladimir_wladimirowich/thelazybeggar/thelazybeggar-1.jpg)