Once upon a time there lived a man and his wife in a village. They had the only nanny goat. They took care of her, milked her and drank her milk. One day the wife said to her husband:
"Dear, go to the bazaar and sell the goat there, but you should return home with the goat and with the money."
"How can I return home with a nanny goat, if I sold her?" - asked the husband.
"Do as you want! But if you come back without the goat, we will starve without her milk." - replied the woman.
The husband was confused but it was useless to argue with his angry wife. Therefore the villager picked up a stick and led the goat into the town. When he came to the bazaar, he was so hungry that his empty belly made him go that way where vendors would deal in edibles. One costermonger was selling there the hash (a dish of tripe and beef feet). Having caught his sight, the villager directed the goat to him and yelled:
"I'm selling the nanny goat, who will buy?"
"What do you want for your goat? - asked the hash seller.
"Give me a bowl of hash - I'll give you the goat!" - said the man.
"All right then, get your breakfast!" - agreed the costermonger.
The man took the bowl and ate up the hash. Then he stood up and was about to leave that place, dragging the nanny goat with him, but the hash seller grabbed his hand and said:
"Hey man, where do you lead the goat to?"
"But what do you think - to get a goat for a bowl of hash?" - replied the man.
They began to swear and nearly came to blows. Some people gathered around and began to pull them apart, trying to understand what was happening:
"Shame on you, good Christians, stop arguing!"
"This wicked guy," - said the goat's salesman, - "gave me a bowl of hash and was going to take my nanny goat, which costs fifteen roubles!"
The crowd surrounded the hash seller and started to scold him for he wanted to get a goat for a song. The happy villager took his goat back and walked on through the bazaar. Then he met a ghata (puff pastry) seller.
"Hey, old chap, come here. I'm selling the nanny goat!" - began to shout the villager at the sight of the ghata seller.
"And how much does the goat cost? - asked the seller.
"Give me the ghata as much as will fit in my stomach, then have the goat!" - said the man.
"Okay, get your lunch!" - replied the seller.
The villager had eaten to satiety, wiped his mouth and was going to lead the goat, but the ghata seller stopped him:
"Why are you tugging my goat?"
"Tut-tut, this is my goat, not yours!" - replied the man.
"If you ate up my ghata, why don't you give me your goat?"
"Oh, you fool, you want to rob a milking goat for a ghata?"
They began fighting; then people came running and tried to separate them.
"Good people," - the villager turned to them, - "this insolent man gave me some ghata and was going to take my goat away for it."
"Shame on you!" - the folks started to scold the ghata seller.
Meanwhile the villager took his goat and led her farther. Soon he met a halva (sweet paste) seller, who was shouting:
"Halva, halva, the lowest price! Make your day!"
The villager came to the halva seller, having an eye "to catch the old bird with chaff". He began yelling in turn:
"Nanny goat, the milking nanny goat, the best price, come here!"
"How much do you want for your goat?" - asked the halva seller.
"Give me some halva and take the goat!" - said the man.
"Oh, that is nice, get your dinner!" - replied the seller.
The man ate up his halva and led the goat on.
"Hey, where are you dragging my goat?" - the seller pounced upon him.
"Is this your goat? What are you trying to do, kid me?" - said the man and got into a fight.
"Why are you fighting? What is the beef between you and him?" - asked the folks that gathered around them.
"Look at this wicked bloke! He gave me a piece of halva and wanted to take a milking goat for it!" - replied the man. All folks began to beat the seller on his head.
In the meantime, the villager took his goat, left the bazaar and walked home, being fed and happy. But then he recollected that he had not complied with the order of his wife. Try as he might, he couldn't solve the problem. Meanwhile there came the evening, but his village was still far away.
When the man passed by one house, he thought: `What if I get into this house and spend the night there'. He knocked on the door, entered the house and saw a woman.
"What do you want? Get out of here!" - said the woman.
"Sister, I'm a stranger. Let me spend the night in your house, and at dawn I'll be gone." - replied the man.
The woman did not dare to leave the man without help, but she was alone and could not let him in. She allowed the villager to sleep in a barn that stood nearby. It was dark there and there was a strong smell of cattle and manure. He lay down on the hay in the corner and quickly fell asleep.
There passed about two hours and suddenly the man heard that someone knocked on the door of the house. He looked through a crack and saw that it was the hash seller, who treated him in the bazaar. The seller quietly entered the room and stayed there. It took a little time and someone knocked on the door again. The woman said to the hash seller:
"It's probably my husband that has come home. Go out the back door and hide in the barn or he will kill you!"
When the seller entered into the barn, the villager tugged at his sleeve and asked loudly:
"Who are you and what do you want?"
"Don't bawl out like that, I can hear you."- replied the salesman. - "But who are you and what are you doing here?"
"I'm selling the goat. Hey, who needs the nanny goat?" - started screaming the man.
"Don't yell! What do you want for your goat?"
"Give me five roubles!"
"Here are five roubles. Sit down then and shut up!"
The man took the money and put it in his pocket.
Before that, while the second visitor had been knocking on the door, the villager looked through the slot and saw, that it was not the husband but the ghata seller. The woman let him into the house...
However half an hour later they heard another knocking at the door. The third guest was the halva seller. The woman told the ghata seller that was sitting in the room:
"It's likely my husband has returned home. Go and hide in the barn!"
When the ghata seller came into the barn, he accidentally hit the man.
"Who is beating me here?" - shouted the man.
"Don't jump on me!" - said the salesman, - "I hurt you accidentally. What are you doing here?"
"I'm selling the goat. Hey, who needs the nanny goat?" - began yelling the man.
"How much is your goat?"
"Give me ten roubles!"
The man took the money and put it in his pocket.
A little later, someone knocked on the door again.
"It's probably my husband. Quickly run into the barn!" - whispered the hostess to her third guest.
The halve seller rushed into the barn and pushed the man, who stood in the doorway.
"Who are you and what do you want?" - asked the seller.
"Come on, dear, buy the goat, or I'll scream so that the host will kill you!" - was provoking the man.
"For God's sake, stop it! Tell the price." "My nanny goat costs twenty-five roubles!"
"Here are twenty-five roubles. Take it and shut up!" - replied the halva seller...
The last man, who had knocked on the door, was really the husband and owner of the house. He entered the house, dined and then said to his wife:
"Honey, it's time to sleep. But before it, I should go to the barn, to see the livestock. And when I come back, we'll go to bed."
"There is nothing to see! You are tired, let's go to bed right now." - replied his wife.
"No, dear, I must make sure that everything is in order, - said the husband and went to the barn.
When he came into the shed, the villager shouted:
"Who is it?"
The husband was dumbfounded:
"But who are you - to yell at me in my own shed?"
"I'm selling the goat!"
"Is it a bazaar here, what do you think?"
"Yes, of course, the bazaar!" - said the man. - Look, here are the hash seller, the ghata seller and the halve seller! What are they doing, hanging about your barn?"
"What the hell is going on here?"
"Kindle the light, you'll see!"
The master turned on the light and saw the three vendors, sitting in the midst of the barn. The husband was frustrated by tricks of his wife, but he decided not "to wash his dirty linen in public". He turned to the man and asked:
"How much do you want for your goat?"
"My goat costs fifty roubles!"
"Take the money and go away, but don't say a word to anyone about what you saw here! Keep your mouth shut!"
The happy man took the money and led the nanny goat out of the barn. Having come home, he told his wife:
"Sweetheart, I was lucky! I returned home with the goat and the money!"
"Well, you see!" - said the woman. - "I told you: `Go, sell the goat and come back with the goat and the money!' But you didn't believe me, that it was possible..."
![The Tale of the Nanny Goat [Славянский Владимир Владимирович]](/img/s/slawjanskij_wladimir_wladimirowich/thetaleofthenannygoat/thetaleofthenannygoat.jpg)